I hate those kids!

I honestly do today.I just can NOT feel the love today!My children are going through a phase of destruction.The little ones,both of them.Jim and I got some Lenox brand birds for our wedding,THEY broke them.They also broke through locked doors to steal candy.They are CRAZY!But what Bacon did today just totally kicked the mother of all bad things in the ass (for now,worse might come).He threw a plastic cup into the toilet and flushed it.It didn't get very far but far enough for the water to drain and me not to notice it.So,it was PM,I started cooking dinner when Bear came up to me.....
Bear:Mom,there is a lot of poop and a crayon in the toilet!
Me:WHAT?
Bear:Yes,A LOT!And it won't go away.
Me:Alright,let check.
I took the pan of the burner,grabbed a plunger and headed for the bathroom.Yup...there is was....all stuck and very full of.....shit and everything Bear mentioned.And just when I thought I had it under control,the whole damn toilet flooded over,2 inches of water EVERYWHERE.
SHIT!Indeed....
Me:WTF DID YOU PEOPLE DO TO THE TOILET?!?!?!
Bear:But I didn't do it!
Me:I KNOW,SO WHO THE HELL DID??
Bacon:Burger took a cup this morning and flushed it down!I SAW HIM DO IT!
Me:OH DID YOU REALLY?
Bacon:Yes,I really did.I SAW him do it,that's NOT good!
Me:NO,IT ISN'T!BURGER GET OVER HERE!!!!
Burger:WHAT?
Me:DON'T GIVE ME THIS WHAT CRAP!WHY ON EARTH DID YOU THREW A CUP INTO THE TOILET?!?!?
Burger:BUT I DIDN'T DO IT!
Bacon: Well,neither did me or Bear.
Burger:Bacon did it!
Me:I WANT TO KNOW NOW WHO DID IT OR I'LL BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ALL OF YOU!
Bear:But I didn't do it!
Me: I KNOW THAT!SHUT UP!BACON,DID YOU DO IT?YOU ARE NOT IN TROUBLE,JUST TELL ME IF YOU DID IT!
Bacon:Yes I did.
Me:WHY?
Bacon:Because I peed into the cup and it had to go in the toilet!
Now people,let me tell you that I was boiling over and about to KILL him!I yelled,yet stayed calm and I also was about to break out into hysterical laughter.
Me:You PEED in a CUP and FLUSHED it?!?!
Bacon:Yes,sorry I did that,but I really had to.Pee just doesn't go into the trash can.
Me (thinking):Well neither does a f***ing cup belong into the toilet!

So I let him off the hook,kept on plunging and borrowed my neighbors toilet snake.It did not good.Jim tried when he came home....nothing.SO,we ended up having to call our home warranty company and have them come in to fix it.Now,you say 60 Dollars co-pay is NOT that much.No it isn't but we don't get paid until Friday.SO my friends,the piggy banks have been confiscated and their allowance for the next YEAR,too.

Bear:BUT I DIDN'T DO IT!

Why was it that I had kids again???????????
And I honestly don't care if anyone thinks of me as cruel or a BAD mother.
DAMN SKIPPY I AM BAD!Especially today.

Posted by jesspea at January 24, 2005 11:10 PM | TrackBack